Tuesday, October 14, 2008
♥ the place i call home
This is the beautiful place that I am lucky enough to call home.
Although I am not there now, I will be there soon.
Hey YOU, yes YOU... do you remember the picture we took here?
♥ And did I tell you that I am going to be alright
4:02 PM
1 commented
4:02 PM
1 commented
♥ good life
What is a good life,
The way we see ourselves against others,
We wish we were rich or adored by millions,
But what about the people who are rich,
Who are adored by millions,
Maybe all they want is a quiet life,
Away from the world,
Perhaps they just want to be normal.
But what is normal?
Who can describe a normal life,
Is it living with your parents and siblings,
Or even going to school each day,
There is no such thing as normal,
This you see depends on the eye of the beholder,
A rich man would imagine a world were you are not publicized for every little thing you do
But a poor man would imagine somewhere were food is constantly available.
So to have a good life depends on your own opinion
It is your choices that change the future
The things we say or do effect the rest of our life
To have a good life is to make the right decisions.
Not to be rich or popular, just happy.
♥ And did I tell you that I am going to be alright
1:01 PM
1 commented
1:01 PM
1 commented
♥ where? what? when?
I cannot tell you how many times I have started writing this blog... and then erase. Oh, where to start? Where to start?
For the past few days I have ask myself the question over and over... "what is love?", "what is being in love?" and I cannot give you an exact descripition. Being in love is probably the most complicated emotion that humans deal with.
To Me Love can be a variety of things. I feel that love is more general. I feel that love is the way I love my mom, my father, my sister, my puppy. Now, that is not to say that those kinds of love are different in every relationship because they most certianly are. My mom and I have a different relationship than my sister and I do. My sister and I have a different relationship than Lily Mae and I do. Every close relationship is unique. I feel that I can grasp on to love. However, the definition of being "in love" is much different. I know the feeling... but to write it down in words is much more difficult.
Being in love: It's much more complicated. It's very rewarding, yet can be very hurtful. When I started dating JS I told him this, "You have the power to make me the happiest woman alive, however you have the power to completely destroy me". As we know, we've seen how he has chosen to use his power. Ah the heartache.
I feel that trust is something that you must have, to have any kind of meaningful relationship. Without trust, there isn't "real" communication. Without communication, there is no relationship. It goes in a full circle. In relationships people must put their selfishness aside. They must both work 100% to make the other one happy. They must be true, reliable, responsible, caring, sincere, committed and the list could go on. In my experience, without these key factors, there cannot be a relationship that last.
Where did you go?
Where is the person I met?
Where is the person I feel in love with?
Was it a dream?
If so, Why did you wake me?
It has turned into a nightmare.
For the past few days I have ask myself the question over and over... "what is love?", "what is being in love?" and I cannot give you an exact descripition. Being in love is probably the most complicated emotion that humans deal with.
To Me Love can be a variety of things. I feel that love is more general. I feel that love is the way I love my mom, my father, my sister, my puppy. Now, that is not to say that those kinds of love are different in every relationship because they most certianly are. My mom and I have a different relationship than my sister and I do. My sister and I have a different relationship than Lily Mae and I do. Every close relationship is unique. I feel that I can grasp on to love. However, the definition of being "in love" is much different. I know the feeling... but to write it down in words is much more difficult.
Being in love: It's much more complicated. It's very rewarding, yet can be very hurtful. When I started dating JS I told him this, "You have the power to make me the happiest woman alive, however you have the power to completely destroy me". As we know, we've seen how he has chosen to use his power. Ah the heartache.
I feel that trust is something that you must have, to have any kind of meaningful relationship. Without trust, there isn't "real" communication. Without communication, there is no relationship. It goes in a full circle. In relationships people must put their selfishness aside. They must both work 100% to make the other one happy. They must be true, reliable, responsible, caring, sincere, committed and the list could go on. In my experience, without these key factors, there cannot be a relationship that last.
Where did you go?
Where is the person I met?
Where is the person I feel in love with?
Was it a dream?
If so, Why did you wake me?
It has turned into a nightmare.
I guess we are both completely letting go.
I never thought that we would give up.
I feel my best friend is gone.
Labels: broken, commitment, hurt, in love, letting go, love
♥ And did I tell you that I am going to be alright
12:36 AM
2 commented
12:36 AM
2 commented
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
♥ too much rum and coke
♥ And did I tell you that I am going to be alright
11:31 PM
0 commented
11:31 PM
0 commented
Saturday, October 4, 2008
♥ this long goodbye
So many times I held your hand
When you sweetly smiled at me
So many times along the sand
We walked along the sea
So many times I said I love you
While we stared in the blue sky
So how long have you been planning
This long goodbye
I loved you through the daytime
I held you through the night
You never gave a warning
That things were not alright
You took another lover
You left me here to cry
How long have you been planning
This long goodbye
Too many times I played life blind
Too many times I heard the lies
Too many times you were unkind
But I thought love was in your eyes
Too many nights I cried alone
I often wanted to die
So how long have you been planning
To say this long goodbye.
When you sweetly smiled at me
So many times along the sand
We walked along the sea
So many times I said I love you
While we stared in the blue sky
So how long have you been planning
This long goodbye
I loved you through the daytime
I held you through the night
You never gave a warning
That things were not alright
You took another lover
You left me here to cry
How long have you been planning
This long goodbye
Too many times I played life blind
Too many times I heard the lies
Too many times you were unkind
But I thought love was in your eyes
Too many nights I cried alone
I often wanted to die
So how long have you been planning
To say this long goodbye.
♥ And did I tell you that I am going to be alright
8:59 PM
3 commented
8:59 PM
3 commented
♥ what happen to
Dear love,
What happened to us?
Remember those times
that we would cry
In each other's arms
But we knew that we'd be okay
Because we'd always be together
Dear love,
What happened to trust?
Remember those times
Long before you lied
I believed everything you said
Bought every word you sold me
Because we'd always be together
Dear love,
You say it was lust
Remember those times
We'd look up to the sky
And sleep in each other's arms
And I knew everything would be okay
Because we'd always be together
Dear love,
What happened to all those times?
Those not-so-distant memories
are fading fast into the background
of your life
But I still remember how you promised me
That we'd always be together
What happened to us?
Remember those times
that we would cry
In each other's arms
But we knew that we'd be okay
Because we'd always be together
Dear love,
What happened to trust?
Remember those times
Long before you lied
I believed everything you said
Bought every word you sold me
Because we'd always be together
Dear love,
You say it was lust
Remember those times
We'd look up to the sky
And sleep in each other's arms
And I knew everything would be okay
Because we'd always be together
Dear love,
What happened to all those times?
Those not-so-distant memories
are fading fast into the background
of your life
But I still remember how you promised me
That we'd always be together
♥ And did I tell you that I am going to be alright
1:45 AM
5 commented
1:45 AM
5 commented
♥ isaiah 53:5
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The punishment that brought us peach was upon him,
and by his wounds we are heal.
(Isaiah 53:5 NIV)
I shall hold this close to my heart.
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The punishment that brought us peach was upon him,
and by his wounds we are heal.
(Isaiah 53:5 NIV)
I shall hold this close to my heart.
♥ And did I tell you that I am going to be alright
1:00 AM
0 commented
1:00 AM
0 commented
Friday, October 3, 2008
♥ healing is a process
Today was the ending to us.
We no longer have anything left.
We have split our things and you have moved on.
In every way.
It saddens me that I had so much hope.
And you disappointed me.
I believe that you probably disappointed yourself as well.
I thought you would choose the right path.
But you chose the same path you knew all to well.
You have opportunity to do well.
But you didn't have enough faith in yourself to grab it while it was within reach.
I had more faith in you than you did.
You have shaved me down to nothing.
I'm so hollow.
You built me up on lies and torn me down with truth.
You know it just as well, if not better, than I do.
You think I can just snap my fingers and I am okay.
That is so far from the truth.
I have spent nights crying in my bed.
In fact, You have held me some of those nights.
I am crushed, destroyed.
I no longer can trust like I once did.
I never wanted to be the person that had extra baggage.
Thanks to you, now I do.
I was told over and over again... "move on"
But you put on a good show.
And I wouldn't take the advice of the wise.
Now I have to find something or someone to preoccupy me.
Otherwise I will fall back into the same routine.
Boredom will be the death of me.
I know that, so I hope I am smart.
Only time will tell.
Only time will heal.
Healing is a process.
And this process could take awhile.
We no longer have anything left.
We have split our things and you have moved on.
In every way.
It saddens me that I had so much hope.
And you disappointed me.
I believe that you probably disappointed yourself as well.
I thought you would choose the right path.
But you chose the same path you knew all to well.
You have opportunity to do well.
But you didn't have enough faith in yourself to grab it while it was within reach.
I had more faith in you than you did.
You have shaved me down to nothing.
I'm so hollow.
You built me up on lies and torn me down with truth.
You know it just as well, if not better, than I do.
You think I can just snap my fingers and I am okay.
That is so far from the truth.
I have spent nights crying in my bed.
In fact, You have held me some of those nights.
I am crushed, destroyed.
I no longer can trust like I once did.
I never wanted to be the person that had extra baggage.
Thanks to you, now I do.
I was told over and over again... "move on"
But you put on a good show.
And I wouldn't take the advice of the wise.
Now I have to find something or someone to preoccupy me.
Otherwise I will fall back into the same routine.
Boredom will be the death of me.
I know that, so I hope I am smart.
Only time will tell.
Only time will heal.
Healing is a process.
And this process could take awhile.
♥ And did I tell you that I am going to be alright
11:18 PM
3 commented
11:18 PM
3 commented
Thursday, October 2, 2008
♥ do what you know is best
So lets walk away and forget each others name.
We're going to have to face the facts, things will never be same.
I'm looking up at the stars scattered across the stormy sky.
I think of all of our memories and begin to cry.
I loved you with all of my heart.
Things just haven't been the same since we part.
I just can't stand how much there is about you that I miss.
I just want to hold you one more time and share one last kiss
Now I know what it's like to be alone.
Now I know what it's like to have a broken heart of my own.
Tell me will my heart ever heal?
All I want is to go back to when our love was real.
Though I try so hard I can't forget, it all comes back when I see your face.
No matter how hard I scream I just can't seem to erase.
All the long night's I've proved that I cared.
Let these rains wash away this love we once shared.
We're going to have to face the facts, things will never be same.
I'm looking up at the stars scattered across the stormy sky.
I think of all of our memories and begin to cry.
I loved you with all of my heart.
Things just haven't been the same since we part.
I just can't stand how much there is about you that I miss.
I just want to hold you one more time and share one last kiss
Now I know what it's like to be alone.
Now I know what it's like to have a broken heart of my own.
Tell me will my heart ever heal?
All I want is to go back to when our love was real.
Though I try so hard I can't forget, it all comes back when I see your face.
No matter how hard I scream I just can't seem to erase.
All the long night's I've proved that I cared.
Let these rains wash away this love we once shared.
♥ And did I tell you that I am going to be alright
11:04 PM
0 commented
11:04 PM
0 commented
♥ goodbye my lover
I have tried to explain to you my hurts however your promises mean nothing to me anymore. You have broken my trust too many times. You got a new place today. Does this mean a new you. Or does it mean a new place to mess up some more? It is so sad that I cannot trust what you say and I don't. I don't even believe you about the "Lucerne" Situation. I doubt I will ever. There was just too much pointing in the other direction. So now I ask myself why am I still here...
I am addicted to you. You were the one who was there for me so long and it's hard to let that go. I tell myself with every ending that only means that there is a new beginning. Right now I have a chance to move forward... but the road is less traveled.
There are a few things that make a healthy relationship..
1) Trust
2) Honesty
3) Respect
4) Support
5) Communication
What do we have? Nothing. I guess I just hope that one day it will build.
I know the potetial that you have. I see what you can be. We have so much but I often question is it already thrown away and I just don't want to see it. It is obvious that you have blinded me.
I saw you being the man I walked down the aisle to. I saw you being that man that fathered my children. I saw you being the man I grew old with. And now my vision is blurry.
Should I say, "Goodbye my Lover?"
I am addicted to you. You were the one who was there for me so long and it's hard to let that go. I tell myself with every ending that only means that there is a new beginning. Right now I have a chance to move forward... but the road is less traveled.
There are a few things that make a healthy relationship..
1) Trust
2) Honesty
3) Respect
4) Support
5) Communication
What do we have? Nothing. I guess I just hope that one day it will build.
I know the potetial that you have. I see what you can be. We have so much but I often question is it already thrown away and I just don't want to see it. It is obvious that you have blinded me.
I saw you being the man I walked down the aisle to. I saw you being that man that fathered my children. I saw you being the man I grew old with. And now my vision is blurry.
Should I say, "Goodbye my Lover?"
♥ And did I tell you that I am going to be alright
8:15 PM
2 commented
8:15 PM
2 commented